Saturday, May 15, 2004

Well..... it looks like I have a place to stay while I'm in Regina this next weekend. Getting my Air Conditioning checked and possibly fixed on Tuesday. Getting my shots on Thursday. Leaving Winnipeg early Saturday morning.

Abu loves her new Kong, and she's very glad the snow has melted to allow us to spend tons of time outside. I did some rearranging here in my basement, and it looks so much better. There's more room, I've done some cleaning, put up some curtains, cleaned the floor, plugged in a lamp. It feels better down here.

I've been working on a new template, well, I was working on one a long time ago, and got distracted. But now that things are more or less under control, I've been thinking about finishing it up. But as I think about that, I think I'd also like to do some thinking about what I really want to write about here, what direction I'd like to take. Maybe find a focus or something.

Just a thought. What are your favorite blogs? I'm looking for some fresh items for my blogroll.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Blogger moved some things around and so I was forced to fool around with my archive settings..... I must have finally gotten the right combination, because low and behold, the archives now work!! wicked. So now the way it works is, the really old archives, the first year, are a separate site, the link to which is at the top of the page. The recent year's archives are at the bottom of the page.

I've been feeling discouraged today. I don't really want to go into details, but sometimes it feels like God's dealings with me are a series of practical jokes, which I could laugh about, if it weren't for the fact that they prey cruelly on my hope and deal out nasty doses of disappointment..... I understand that God doesn't operate that way, but in this particular tunnel, the light just seems to grow further and further away.

I'm so tired of being a guest in someone else's home. I'm tired of not having a place that I can call mine. I'm tired of feeling like a futureless nomad, and I don't think I want much, I don't think I'm being demanding when I say that I want a bedroom of my own, and I want to stay there until I decide to go. Not just until someone else's life dictates my departure.

I want to be able to make ends meet with only one job. I'd like to have time after wards to hang out with friends or go to bible studies or play my guitar.

Too much to ask? It's not like I'm waiting around for a husband or a lottery win or a free ride. It's not as though I don't work my ass off day in and day out so I can scratch out a substandard existence. All my earthly belongings are right here in a 7 square foot space, next to a water heater and metalic painted brick wall, illuminated by a bare bulb with a string attached. And when I'm done here, I have no idea where I'll go. My future has never been more uncertain.

On May long weekend I'll be going to Regina to find out how likely it is that I'll be moving there. I haven't found a place to stay yet..... I'll sleep in my car if I have to. But I have to go. I have to see my friends. I have to keep hoping that there's something fresh for me somewhere..... even if it is Regina.

Monday, May 10, 2004

At quarter to eight I took Abu out for her morning bathroom break, and it was chilly but sunny. Fine, I figure it'll warm out. So Abu and I go back inside and I get ready for work. I come back outside, and the sun is still shining, but a fine powdery snow is falling. How is this possible?? I didn't know, but I assumed that there was a cloud somewhere close by, and the snow was blowing in from wherever the cloud was.

I get in my car and start driving. The snowflakes get bigger.... and bigger..... I arrived at work in the midst of blowing snow. In the office, we all stood and watched the highrise disappear amidst the fluffy white stuff.

By ten the snow was gone, the sky was blue, the air started warming up.

Welcome to winterpeg.

Sunday, May 09, 2004

I just watched the most recent Peter Pan film, and thought it was brilliant. Everything about it, all of the effects and backdrops were stunningly beautiful. The acting on the parts of the children were incredible. The movie stays closer to the original story than Disney did, and as a result it becomes a slightly darker, more intense, more symbolic story, and I highly recomment it. In fact, I am adding it to the list of movies I MUST have in my possession.

Abu is growing at a phenomenal rate. I'm adjusting her collar and harness daily. It became astonishingly obvious as we went for an extra long walk and she was too tired to walk the whole way.... so I picked her up. It brought me back a couple weeks to when I had carried her in the front of my shirt. Now I can barely get my shirt around her backside. Instead, she rode in the stroller with the two year old, and more adorable sight you've never seen, the child leaning back with her arm slung casually over Abu's back, pointing things out and talking to her in that two year old language that no living human can understand.

Okay now it's bedtime.
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