Saturday, June 18, 2005

boy#1: it's because your clothes create drag
boy#2: but I thought you always reach terminal velocity
boy#1: you do, but your terminal velocity is higher
boy#2: when you're naked
boy#1: Yeah

just imagine the inspired conversation of four twenty something guys talking about skydiving naken. where can this conversation go? how many different ways can they incorporate references to the family jewels?

come to work with me and you'll find out.

boys are dumb.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005


Had another dog on the doorstep tonight..... brought over by the self same individual of questionable intelligence and/or integrity from whom I bought the lawnmower that didn't work.

Oh, I didn't tell you that story? I bought a lawnmower from jabba the hut and his brain activity challenged "wife" so they could "celebrate his birthday." After a few tweeks I finally got the business to work and as it turns out, I think it's a mulcher, which means that my good deal is even better.

Wouldn't you know it, the same woman turns up with their dog (the spitting image of abu, but far too skinny) and wants to sell it to me for $35. She says they have "sniffers" for neighbors and want to move out of town.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but will it not cost a little more than $35 to move out of town and find a new place? Or does a bottle of Captain Morgan go for about that much?

I told her that I will provide the service of finding a home for the dog, but I will not pay her for my trouble. We're wondering if we'll have another dog by the end of the night. Maybe she'll find someone who wants to pay her for that smelly sack of exuberance, but in a way I hope not. True, having another dog here is more than I really want to deal with, but at least while he's here he'll get plenty of food, and when he leaves it will be with some super nice people carefully screened by yours truly.

I hate to see a dog suffer. Dogs are so loyal and devoted, they don't deserve to be starved and neglected by the people they love. Kinda like kids.
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