Thursday, February 17, 2005

I am so happy right now. I've discovered a place called Ani-tabs where there are guitar tabs for loads of Ani Difranco songs. Tonight I learned one of my very favoritest songs. You have to tune every single string way out to lunch but once you do, the actual playing is super easy. I never imagined that I would play an Ani song all by myself. I feel so overwhelmed by camraderie with that distant human who wrote so many songs that spoke to me so profoundly.

If you're wondering, the song is called "Grey" and it's probably the only song that's within my reach as a novice guitar player, but as soon as I get my hands on a capo I'm setting my sights on "Imagine" which is the song that I had in my head today, and seems to have so much relevance in my life right now.

Other than that, nothing to say. Except this: Donnie Darko. Not for the faint of heart, but if you dare, it's a fascinating little mindbender of a flick . Word to the wise, don't believe the movie jacket.... the rabbit is not demonic, I don't know why they would write that. No matter how you interpret the movie, the rabbit does not come out demonic. He is, however, freaky. Also, Jena Malone is in this one, which is an automatic positive in my books.

Tomorrow's friday. Thank God. This week I've been so lost in my head that I can't concentrate on what I'm doing..... I keep getting lost or forget what I'm doing or tipping over.... and I just found out I'm supposed to be on the worship team at church.

okay... here I go

Monday, February 14, 2005

It started with the little old hunchbacked lady in her pink sweater and white hair, doing the two step and waving her hands.

Then the slightly less old lady, kicking and clapping in her purple and pink track suit. Together they weaved in and out, and around, spinning and clapping and waving and kicking.

A middle aged woman up the center aisle began to skip, twisting her backside and waving her arms, blond braid bouncing against her back as she skipped down the aisle and around the people. Shortly thereafter a teenager was jumping from side to side, her layered shoulder length hair flailing wildly around her head.

I sat in my usual spot, a chair against the back wall, looking up the aisle at all the hopping and waving and kicking and clapping, smiling because they were all so happy, and I love my church. And that little old lady, so darn cute.

Thinking how unusual it is that the dancing that morning started with someone's great grandmother, and I couldn't find the energy to stand up. Instead I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees and tapped my foot, occasionally taking a swig from the bottle of pop beside my chair, wondering how I could save a few bucks getting the brakes done on my car.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Neither of the animals had noticed anything. None of the food left laying around had visibly been bothered. There was no squeaking of rustling or scratching or any telltale signs whatsoever that we were cohabitating with a rodent. Until we discovered little poopies behind the toaster oven, and under the pan on the stove, and behind the microwave, and on top of the microwave..... and that's when we bought the trap. I baited it with jalepeno havart and carefuly slid it behind the toaster oven.

Now, I hate to kill anything. I hate death. I find the fact that anything is alive to be a miracle of God. If something was in perfect working condition, but dead, there's not a thing any human could do to make it live. Life itself is a magical thing that comes and goes so unexpectedly that is seems like a great violation to rip it away at my own whim.

Having said that, there's a dead mouse on my counter, and I killed it. I don't feel great remorse. I know there was no alternative. I know that they're dirty and filthy disease ridden vermin. But now that it's there with it's neck broken in a trap that I set, I don't want to go near it. Once I get dressed, I'll pick up the trap with my thumb and forefinger, and holding it as far away from me as possible, I'll take it to the dumpster in the back alley and release it into the wild.

It's not the gross factor. I'm not one of those girls...... it's the dead factor. Death is so repulsive to me. Necessary, but sickening.

So come on over. this is now a mouse free house, unless you count the angry spirit of a mouse whose life was cruelly and prematurely ripped from his fragile furry body.
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