Tuesday, June 22, 2004

There is something which I do not need but I want very much.

It's one thing to ask God for things that you need. God has been teaching me about providing for my needs, and He has been faithful to the point of hilarity, and I've been finding that my faith has been growing as I petition God for the things that I need to live.

But what about the things that I want? Things that I don't need but which would be really nice. Things like a comfy bed in a room with a window, a well paying job when I move, or one last chance to see Chimwemwe before she moves to Ireland indefinitely.

After all, it's not MY fault she's my friend, or that the plan has changed and she's leaving right when I get back from Africa.

I don't NEED to see her. Just like I didn't NEED that ring back, and I don't NEED a queen size pillowtop bed in an above ground room with a window (which is where I currently sleep). I don't NEED a dog for that matter, or food to eat every day. Every other day will be just fine.

So in the same way that I didn't need those things, but it sure was sweet of God to give them to me anyway, I would love to see my friend again before she goes away. So that's what I'm praying for.

Wish me luck.... or pray with me. One of the two.

Monday, June 21, 2004

Okay, this is what I did this weekend. Since it's father's day, I went to visit my dads. On saturday it was my dad, on sunday my stepdad. This meant a weekend out. It also meant going to my mom's church. I managed okay, but I think today I was dealing with a lot of emotional backlash.... at least that's what nancy suggested, on further thought, I decided that was a likely possibility. At my dad's it's constant tension.... always tiptoeing around an imminent eruption. At my mom's it's all that religious stuff. I have to check myself constantly to avoid starting a discussion that will result in my condemnation to hell.

So I'm tired. And I've been thinking all day about conversations I had with people, wondering if I handled it right, wondering if everyone dreads visiting family as much as I do. It's not that I don't love them all..... it's just that they suck so much out of me.

Anyways, I started a photoblog to make it easier to post pictures, so it can be found at littlebearphotoblog.blogspot.com. I put a few pictures up there with stupid cheezy captions because they make you put a caption before you can post the picture. I forgive them for that (I hate making up captions) because they make posting pictures so darn easy that I'll probably do more of it. fun.

okay go check out this weekend's pics.
I should have seen this coming. For once I'm happy with the results of a test! This quiz by way of libbie rae.


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
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