There's something I want to say but I'm having trouble reaching it.
A couple things are going through my head. A friend emailed me, mentioning the speed at which life can change completely. It's true, something could happen tomorrow that would render my life unrecognizable. Not a single one of us can say with certainty that we'll live out the week, though we hope that we will, and we make a lot of plans based on our desires and priorities, and we imagine where we'll be five, ten years down the road.
I've never been one to plan ahead. I think ahead, sure, but I don't tend to plan. This is maybe the reason that I'm a grimy production worker while other people are pursuing their lifelong dreams of being neurosurgeons or astronomers or superstore cashiers. I think I've always been afraid that making plans would somehow eliminate all sorts of other things that I hadn't planned for, and I was always one who wanted to experience everything. I have always been the laughingstock of my family, because my aspirations were so varied that of course they could never all come into being. How can you be a veterinarian, and inventor, an explorer, a missionary, and computer scientist all in one lifetime, while travelling to africa and the far east, rafting the mississippi, writing science fiction novels and still find time for your twelve dogs? There are those who might find time for all this by the time their 98 years have expired but let's not forget that I have no intention of living that long, and I despise school with a hatred that exceeds even my distaste for republicans and french poodles.
So. Go to school, they say. Take "computers" or "journalism." I ask you, if I am taking computers or journalism, how can I be an astronaut? And when will I work on my diabolical scheme to reclaim the sahara and feed the multitudes?
I am not an unrealistic person. In fact, I am infuriatingly pragmatic, and so of course, I have no lofty expectations. I do, however, entertain a miniscule possibility that I could be missing out on something very exciting while I proceed on the set plan for my life. If there is no set plan, then anything could happen.
But will anything happen?
My friend says that life can change quickly, and I believe her, because I've seen it with my own three eyes. So during these slow times, these ordinary, tedious, uneventful days of drudgery, I cling to the philosophy that I somehow adopted sometime in my life, I can't remember when.
Whatever will be, will be
And there is room there for the threefold mantra:
Jesus is Lord, He cares, and He has a plan.
Jesus plans ahead so I don't have to. But He doesn't tell me what He's planning. I don't know if that's good or bad, but I cling to it nonetheless. Particularly on nights like tonight, when I'm bored spitless.
A couple things are going through my head. A friend emailed me, mentioning the speed at which life can change completely. It's true, something could happen tomorrow that would render my life unrecognizable. Not a single one of us can say with certainty that we'll live out the week, though we hope that we will, and we make a lot of plans based on our desires and priorities, and we imagine where we'll be five, ten years down the road.
I've never been one to plan ahead. I think ahead, sure, but I don't tend to plan. This is maybe the reason that I'm a grimy production worker while other people are pursuing their lifelong dreams of being neurosurgeons or astronomers or superstore cashiers. I think I've always been afraid that making plans would somehow eliminate all sorts of other things that I hadn't planned for, and I was always one who wanted to experience everything. I have always been the laughingstock of my family, because my aspirations were so varied that of course they could never all come into being. How can you be a veterinarian, and inventor, an explorer, a missionary, and computer scientist all in one lifetime, while travelling to africa and the far east, rafting the mississippi, writing science fiction novels and still find time for your twelve dogs? There are those who might find time for all this by the time their 98 years have expired but let's not forget that I have no intention of living that long, and I despise school with a hatred that exceeds even my distaste for republicans and french poodles.
So. Go to school, they say. Take "computers" or "journalism." I ask you, if I am taking computers or journalism, how can I be an astronaut? And when will I work on my diabolical scheme to reclaim the sahara and feed the multitudes?
I am not an unrealistic person. In fact, I am infuriatingly pragmatic, and so of course, I have no lofty expectations. I do, however, entertain a miniscule possibility that I could be missing out on something very exciting while I proceed on the set plan for my life. If there is no set plan, then anything could happen.
But will anything happen?
My friend says that life can change quickly, and I believe her, because I've seen it with my own three eyes. So during these slow times, these ordinary, tedious, uneventful days of drudgery, I cling to the philosophy that I somehow adopted sometime in my life, I can't remember when.
Whatever will be, will be
And there is room there for the threefold mantra:
Jesus is Lord, He cares, and He has a plan.
Jesus plans ahead so I don't have to. But He doesn't tell me what He's planning. I don't know if that's good or bad, but I cling to it nonetheless. Particularly on nights like tonight, when I'm bored spitless.
