Thursday, May 19, 2005

There's something I want to say but I'm having trouble reaching it.

A couple things are going through my head. A friend emailed me, mentioning the speed at which life can change completely. It's true, something could happen tomorrow that would render my life unrecognizable. Not a single one of us can say with certainty that we'll live out the week, though we hope that we will, and we make a lot of plans based on our desires and priorities, and we imagine where we'll be five, ten years down the road.

I've never been one to plan ahead. I think ahead, sure, but I don't tend to plan. This is maybe the reason that I'm a grimy production worker while other people are pursuing their lifelong dreams of being neurosurgeons or astronomers or superstore cashiers. I think I've always been afraid that making plans would somehow eliminate all sorts of other things that I hadn't planned for, and I was always one who wanted to experience everything. I have always been the laughingstock of my family, because my aspirations were so varied that of course they could never all come into being. How can you be a veterinarian, and inventor, an explorer, a missionary, and computer scientist all in one lifetime, while travelling to africa and the far east, rafting the mississippi, writing science fiction novels and still find time for your twelve dogs? There are those who might find time for all this by the time their 98 years have expired but let's not forget that I have no intention of living that long, and I despise school with a hatred that exceeds even my distaste for republicans and french poodles.

So. Go to school, they say. Take "computers" or "journalism." I ask you, if I am taking computers or journalism, how can I be an astronaut? And when will I work on my diabolical scheme to reclaim the sahara and feed the multitudes?

I am not an unrealistic person. In fact, I am infuriatingly pragmatic, and so of course, I have no lofty expectations. I do, however, entertain a miniscule possibility that I could be missing out on something very exciting while I proceed on the set plan for my life. If there is no set plan, then anything could happen.

But will anything happen?

My friend says that life can change quickly, and I believe her, because I've seen it with my own three eyes. So during these slow times, these ordinary, tedious, uneventful days of drudgery, I cling to the philosophy that I somehow adopted sometime in my life, I can't remember when.

Whatever will be, will be

And there is room there for the threefold mantra:
Jesus is Lord, He cares, and He has a plan.

Jesus plans ahead so I don't have to. But He doesn't tell me what He's planning. I don't know if that's good or bad, but I cling to it nonetheless. Particularly on nights like tonight, when I'm bored spitless.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Well, this is the second day in a row that I managed to get up at a decent time.... so I have time to blog before work, if you can believe it, but I have little to say. I think a kid cut through my yard this morning. I wish they'd just stay out, and what's he doing up so early anyways?

Did I mention that Chimwemwe's getting married?? Well she is, and due to land in Regina in about 3 weeks. I'm getting a different visitor this weekend, one I haven't actually met, but who sounds very interesting. In one month I'll have paid off my Future Shop card and will be starting in on Mastercard. I planted a lawn and plan to go out and buy plants this weekend.

All of these things are very exciting, but not as exciting as going to work, which is my perpetual joy, one of those wonderful wonderful things you can always count on to march right in, interrupt the weekend and RUIN YOUR LIFE WITH THE SANDING AND THE CUTTING AND THE STANDING AND THE NOISE!!!!

so away I go. have a nice day.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

"I can't believe you got expelled!!! Now we have to find a different school for you, and if you get expelled from that one, you're going straight to the army, and they'll send you to America's latest military quagmire. Where will it be? North Korea, Iran perhaps?? Anything's possible with Commander Coocoo Banana in charge!!!"
~ Homer Simpson
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