Thursday, May 20, 2004

Four. The number of needles I got in my arm. It hurts so much. I feel so sick. Yuck. I've put off the evenings "necessary" plans because I feel like crap. I'm going to bed right now. Forget the planned post. Forget taking pictures, forget the mess that Abu made with the pile of newspapers she got into. Forget everything till tomorrow. Goodnight.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Nancy is my coworker, and has put pictures from Thomas Kinkade calendars all over our "office" as well as in the laundry rooms in the building where we work. Thomas Kinkade is known as the "Painter of Light," and over time I've grown to love those calendar pictures and take comfort in them. Every one of them speaks to the desires in my heart that I fear are the most unattainable.

In each painting I hear water flowing, trickling, crashing against rocks. There's the cool stone walls of secluded cabins, the musty scent of a woodfire, flowers and grass, the warm glow of a place of comfort. In each painting I see rest and solitude and peace. I wish so much that I had a place like that for myself.

Maybe someday.

Bad news first: My air conditioning will never be fixed due to the exorbitant amount of money required to do so. This makes me sad.

Good news? The money I had budgeted to fix the air conditioning now has no purpose other than to absorb my weakness for take-out, which will come in handy while I'm in Regina this weekend having a good time.

Even more good news. I consoled myself by charging WAY too many peripherals for my brand new clearance priced Samsung Digimax 300, a lovely little number which I haven't had much opportunity to play with... sadly. Tomorrow I will play. For tonight, here are my initial pics, taken here in the basement where I live.

Monday, May 17, 2004

I think I've decided to get a digital camera. Yes, I will charge it. It wil lbe the cheapest I can get away with, but it will be mine, and I will take pictures with it. The time has come. I cannot live any longer without documenting my memories. Things are just getting interesting!!

This may become a photoblog!!

After all, how much have I wished that you all could see the lamp my sister made, and sits beside my monitor because I'm too lazy to bring it back to her? Abu's daily antics. I don't imagine myself to be a photographer, in reality, I suck at taking photos. But having a digital camera will allow me to practice without spending a fortune on film, and give me a new outlet to communicate. So much of what I think has no words to go along with it, and sometimes I just can't think of anything to say here.

So tomorrow I go shopping. With any luck, Thursday will feature a pretty pic to commemorate the momentous addition to my life. And August first will shine with the faces of all the African children that I encounter on my African journey.

So tomorrow I take my car in to get the air conditioning fixed, and while I wait, I will go shopping. yay!!

Other than that, there's no news. I've cleaned the inside of my car in anticipation of my road trip to Regina. Acclimatizing Abu to the back seat, to where she will be banished when there's other people in the car. Wednesday I'll dye my hair. Thursday I get my shots for Africa. Friday I pack everything in my car and go to bed super early.

Each of those days I will need to do my second job. Needless to say, it's a busy week.

At approximately 2 am Saturday morning, I will get in my car with my dog, and drive west. The sun will rise behind me and follow me all the way down the high way. The sky will turn colors and I'll watch the sunrise in the rearview mirror. It will be wonderful. It will be satisfying. It will be freedom on wheels, and I can't wait to just drive away.

Praying for wisdom and guidance as I try to figure out what direction my life will take.

Well, sometime tonight I have to go to work, but I'm all distracted by Fried Green Tomatoes on Superstation. I'll be happy when the day comes when I only have one job, when I can come home after a hard day's work, and just stay put until I fall asleep.

Ah well..... away I go.
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