Well.... I've been too tired to post as of late, as I've been so busy panicking about life in general, more of the same concerns about things like work and money and moving and living, along with the growing desire to actually figure out what I want to do with my life..... a question that doesn't usually hassle me. I've always been content to just do my work and go home.... but now I want to do work that's relevant to... but I have no idea what's relevant, because I have no idea where this life is going.....

I popped a cd in at the clinic I clean, a cd I haven't listened to in a really long time, and comfort came to me in the form of Jimmy Eat World, a song called faithless. I couldn't find the actual song lyrics (it seems to be a rare track) but this is what I think the chorus is:

Till we tumble we are faithless
Till our senses fail we're faithless
Till we fall down we are faithless
Till there's nothing left to hold on to

At those words I redirected my thoughts, and forced myself to remember the confidence I had before that God would look after all my needs, and that He has a plan, and that He cares. The peace I had that I was making the right plans and it would all work out in His time. And then the words of Gandalf entered my mind....

A wizard is never late. He arrives precisely when he means to.

Not that I consider Gandalf to be some sort of analogous Christ, because I don't, but I think that maybe God would have this quality in common with Gandalf, were Gandalf real. Don't you? So I need to be less impatient and have more trust, and pray for faith and take a deep breath and relax.

So there. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. See if I care.

Just posted over at the africa blog. too tired to post anything else. goodnight