Well, thank you to those of you who prayed. The house feels better.... much better. Everything seems to be back to normal, but we're still paying attention.

It's funny, actually, the things that wake you up, kick you in the pants, and cause you to recall a time when your spiritual growth was proactive, instead of passive. I thought I could just live my life, and love God. I thought that being a God fearing and integrous person in the context of my life was a satisfactory endeavor.

But with knowledge comes responsibility. This we've always known, and I conveniently forgot. That is until I found myself face to face with a spiritual realm.... and I stood up. I raised my fist and found my voice. We prayed together. We sang together. It was intense. It was exhausting. It was good.

But then I got angry. I mean, it's hard enough to survive my life in the physical realm. As if I don't have enough to worry about. Between working and eating and sleeping, and my family's complicated issues, it's all I can do to maintain some level of sanity and stay alive at the same time. Sensing demonic presence doesn't really help.

I mean, sometimes all I really want is a small house on a quiet street, with a doggy door and wooden fence, and write my stories and play with my dog, make my rounds at the apartment. Keep the glass fingerprint-free and the carpets clean. Sometimes I don't want to think about world hunger and suicidal family members, or mental illness, or spiritual warfare. I just want to mow my lawn and do my dishes and have you over for tea on occasion, teach my dog to do something cute.

However.....

It's like Ani Difranco said. "If you're not trying to make something better, then as far as I can see you are just in the way."

And the fact of the matter is that the spiritual realm is very real, and like it or not, I am aware of it. And ultimately, my survival is not my concern, since I won't last another moment apart from God's will. And who am I to complain, temporary as the grass, if God has more important things for me to do than while away my days in a tribute to self-centredness??

I mean.... really. Who do I think I am? I can't just pick and choose my reality.

I'm sure I'll never know the whole story on what happened in our house on monday. It was scary and it was real. Reminded me of some things. We think it's over, but I'll try not to forget.

Now I'm praying that Abu sleeps through the night. I can't take many more of these middle 3 am battles.