Well...... my life has changed gears at an alarming rate.
I now live, albeit temporarily, with my friend and her two year old daughter. Thus, I get up at 6 am and go to bed at around 9. That is for the time being, until I get my bed and move off the living room futon, into the basement. Then maybe I will sleep in till 7. I have discovered that I don't mind waking up early, but I do mind waking up to an alarm clock. Waking up to a screaming child is better, provided I'm not the one who has to get her. Then she comes and gives me my morning snuggles, which makes the morning so pleasant, and I get up and take my time getting ready.
Once the weather levels out at something more reasonable, this will mean morning walks. Maybe I'll start taking the bus, since that would be very relaxing and save me some wear and tear on my poor car, which is badly in need of some TLC.
Tomorrow is looking like a trying day, as I'll be getting the last of my stuff and clearing out of the house that I called home for the last two years. I feel so heartbroken. I didn't want to leave like this. I thought I had time.
Though I'm sad, I'm looking forward. This month has been rough all around, but spring is coming. I live now in a different atmosphere. I don't know how long I'll be here but so far I like it. One is not better than the other, but I was ready for a change, I see that now. I was not built for isolation, but for community. I think that one more evening spent alone in that basement would have made me crazy. I am shocked by the joy I take in the simple act of folding up a stroller, google-ing monkey pictures with the little one, cleaning the litter-box from hell. It surprises me that I don't mind going to bed at 9.
In the midst of it all is my increasing desire to move to Regina. The thought has landed in my mind and I can't shake it loose. It will be awhile before I can go out there to find out if the idea is doable, so right now there are only questions and hopes. The more I question my reasons for coming to Winnipeg, the more I miss the people I left behind in Regina. Though in theory I HATE Regina. The city, not the people. It's a wierd dynamic.
But what of the people I'd be leaving behind in Winnipeg?
As I said before, there is no option that doesn't tear me in two. Nothing feels good. And nothing ever works out the way you thought it would. So I don't know. Guidance is what I need, but for now I'll concentrate on settling in, getting my car fixed, getting to Liberia.
Getting to sleep.
I now live, albeit temporarily, with my friend and her two year old daughter. Thus, I get up at 6 am and go to bed at around 9. That is for the time being, until I get my bed and move off the living room futon, into the basement. Then maybe I will sleep in till 7. I have discovered that I don't mind waking up early, but I do mind waking up to an alarm clock. Waking up to a screaming child is better, provided I'm not the one who has to get her. Then she comes and gives me my morning snuggles, which makes the morning so pleasant, and I get up and take my time getting ready.
Once the weather levels out at something more reasonable, this will mean morning walks. Maybe I'll start taking the bus, since that would be very relaxing and save me some wear and tear on my poor car, which is badly in need of some TLC.
Tomorrow is looking like a trying day, as I'll be getting the last of my stuff and clearing out of the house that I called home for the last two years. I feel so heartbroken. I didn't want to leave like this. I thought I had time.
Though I'm sad, I'm looking forward. This month has been rough all around, but spring is coming. I live now in a different atmosphere. I don't know how long I'll be here but so far I like it. One is not better than the other, but I was ready for a change, I see that now. I was not built for isolation, but for community. I think that one more evening spent alone in that basement would have made me crazy. I am shocked by the joy I take in the simple act of folding up a stroller, google-ing monkey pictures with the little one, cleaning the litter-box from hell. It surprises me that I don't mind going to bed at 9.
In the midst of it all is my increasing desire to move to Regina. The thought has landed in my mind and I can't shake it loose. It will be awhile before I can go out there to find out if the idea is doable, so right now there are only questions and hopes. The more I question my reasons for coming to Winnipeg, the more I miss the people I left behind in Regina. Though in theory I HATE Regina. The city, not the people. It's a wierd dynamic.
But what of the people I'd be leaving behind in Winnipeg?
As I said before, there is no option that doesn't tear me in two. Nothing feels good. And nothing ever works out the way you thought it would. So I don't know. Guidance is what I need, but for now I'll concentrate on settling in, getting my car fixed, getting to Liberia.
Getting to sleep.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home