This is why I haven't gone to see that Jesus movie yet.
I'm supposed to be finishing up my support letters but instead I'm watching zoolander and farting around online. I'll do it. I will.
Yesterday I went shopping for a PC headset which turned out to have terrible sound quality. There's a mall not too far from my place on Leila ave, which is decidedly the coolest street in the city. They named it after me 10 years ago when I rescued a rabid kitten from the jaws of a bloodthirsty antelope, and now it's home to chapters, starbucks, future shop, canadian tire, blockbuster, home depot, and a bunch of other handy stores in a little known mall with a movie theatre.
I wandered into the mall to hit the post office, when right there in front of me was an information booth regarding mood disorders. I approached the booth where two really nice (too nice, perhaps) ladies welcomed me and offered free pamphlets.
I guess when you're seeking information about bipolar affective disorder, people assume that you either have it, or know someone who does, and then they feel sorry for you, because either way, bipolar sucks. I picked up some info and then asked them if they run any support groups for friends or family of people with bipolar. They said yes, and pointed at their phone number, and cooed and compassioned until I left. I had nearly burst into tears. I've been doing such a good job of not thinking about my stepmom that I didn't realize how raw I still feel.
I mean, I'm still kinda critical. I think that anyone would think they had bipolar if they were smoking dope while taking all sorts of other medications. Chemically unbalanced, you say? OF COURSE YOU ARE, DIPSHIT! Maybe if you stop pumping chemicals into your brain, you'll see a little improvement!!
I guess I just don't understand.
I was looking over the list of symptoms, and it looks like I have all the symptoms of depression, and most of the symptoms of mania. Coincidentally, last time I checked I had enough symptoms of schizophrenia to warrant a trip to a therapist. I think mental illness is a difficult thing to diagnose, especially nowadays when nearly everybody is somewhat dysfunctional and people would far rather pop a pill to feel normal than work on the core issues. And I'm sure there are cases where there really is a chemical imbalance, but by the sounds of things that can be managed as much by lifestyle and diet as by drugs.
As for my stepmom, I'd like to see her diagnosed AFTER she had all the drugs out of her system, instead of this "oh you must be bipolar" backwoods-doctor-thinks-he's-a-psych-expert.
I'm afraid if I contact a support group I'll get in trouble for my cynicism. But I really would like to know how to be a support for my stepmom.
I was waiting in line at starbucks to get a latte for my future shop trip. Not really paying attention, just standing there reading the menu, or the description of the house blend. When the old lady in front of me was finished with her order, she turned around and said "thank you for your patience." Weird, hey? I mean, I try to be nice to people when I go out, but I certainly don't expect anyone else to be nice.....
And I have to say it. Bam Margera is HOT!! Men are mostly an unattractive species.... and professional skateboarders are almost exclusively ugly, but not Bam.
That's it for today. Go waste your time somewhere else.
I'm supposed to be finishing up my support letters but instead I'm watching zoolander and farting around online. I'll do it. I will.
Yesterday I went shopping for a PC headset which turned out to have terrible sound quality. There's a mall not too far from my place on Leila ave, which is decidedly the coolest street in the city. They named it after me 10 years ago when I rescued a rabid kitten from the jaws of a bloodthirsty antelope, and now it's home to chapters, starbucks, future shop, canadian tire, blockbuster, home depot, and a bunch of other handy stores in a little known mall with a movie theatre.
I wandered into the mall to hit the post office, when right there in front of me was an information booth regarding mood disorders. I approached the booth where two really nice (too nice, perhaps) ladies welcomed me and offered free pamphlets.
I guess when you're seeking information about bipolar affective disorder, people assume that you either have it, or know someone who does, and then they feel sorry for you, because either way, bipolar sucks. I picked up some info and then asked them if they run any support groups for friends or family of people with bipolar. They said yes, and pointed at their phone number, and cooed and compassioned until I left. I had nearly burst into tears. I've been doing such a good job of not thinking about my stepmom that I didn't realize how raw I still feel.
I mean, I'm still kinda critical. I think that anyone would think they had bipolar if they were smoking dope while taking all sorts of other medications. Chemically unbalanced, you say? OF COURSE YOU ARE, DIPSHIT! Maybe if you stop pumping chemicals into your brain, you'll see a little improvement!!
I guess I just don't understand.
I was looking over the list of symptoms, and it looks like I have all the symptoms of depression, and most of the symptoms of mania. Coincidentally, last time I checked I had enough symptoms of schizophrenia to warrant a trip to a therapist. I think mental illness is a difficult thing to diagnose, especially nowadays when nearly everybody is somewhat dysfunctional and people would far rather pop a pill to feel normal than work on the core issues. And I'm sure there are cases where there really is a chemical imbalance, but by the sounds of things that can be managed as much by lifestyle and diet as by drugs.
As for my stepmom, I'd like to see her diagnosed AFTER she had all the drugs out of her system, instead of this "oh you must be bipolar" backwoods-doctor-thinks-he's-a-psych-expert.
I'm afraid if I contact a support group I'll get in trouble for my cynicism. But I really would like to know how to be a support for my stepmom.
I was waiting in line at starbucks to get a latte for my future shop trip. Not really paying attention, just standing there reading the menu, or the description of the house blend. When the old lady in front of me was finished with her order, she turned around and said "thank you for your patience." Weird, hey? I mean, I try to be nice to people when I go out, but I certainly don't expect anyone else to be nice.....
And I have to say it. Bam Margera is HOT!! Men are mostly an unattractive species.... and professional skateboarders are almost exclusively ugly, but not Bam.
That's it for today. Go waste your time somewhere else.
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