Under normal circumstances, Abu is not a big cuddler. Sure, she likes her tummy rubbed as much as anyone, but for her to snuggle up next to me is unusual. She's a puppy, after all, she's got places to go, ankles to bite. Which makes this morning unusual. I woke up with her laying up against me where I had passed out on the hide-a-bed. What can I say? She knows. She can taste sadness, and she wreaks of comfort.
I guess I'm just at that age. One by one, the enemy is picking off my friends, and now those damn nazi's have sniped the wrong one. One day when I'm old and my skin is hanging from my skeleton and I live in a home that smells of absorbine jr. I'll look in the obituaries and every day I'll I spot someone I knew. I'll know that I'll never see that person again, and I'll be allowed, expected to be sad.
But I'm not 86 (Lord forbid....) I'm 23. And it's only a matter of time until I'm the last one standing, single and proud, but without anyone to hang out with. Unlike being 86, I'm supposed to be happy, and allow me to clarify..... I am happy but shockingly enough, I am capable of feeling more than one emotion at one time. I'm frustrated by the knowledge that expressing my other (secondary) emotions would be incredibly selfish of me.
So I woke up with tears in my eyes, because I've been here before, and I know that this time it will be harder, because I'm happier and sadder, and I have to say goodbye to someone I never could say goodbye to. Now I'm alone in the house. I wish I wasn't, but my roomie's in florida. So I'm venting my conflicting emotions, hoping that by venting, I'll be able to focus on the appropriate emotion, which is overwhelming happiness for my friend's happiness.
Abu's life will revolve around me until the day she dies. How's that for an ego trip? The catch is that in the end, I will have to kill her. Life is never easy I suppose, not for anyone. But there's lots of happiness along the way.
I'm liking Sum 41's "We're all to blame." I love watching punk bands move from crazy stupid to socially conscious. On that note, I'm loving Green Day's new album.
That's it. I'll write more later on the subject of the new year. The usual new year's drivel, I predict.
I guess I'm just at that age. One by one, the enemy is picking off my friends, and now those damn nazi's have sniped the wrong one. One day when I'm old and my skin is hanging from my skeleton and I live in a home that smells of absorbine jr. I'll look in the obituaries and every day I'll I spot someone I knew. I'll know that I'll never see that person again, and I'll be allowed, expected to be sad.
But I'm not 86 (Lord forbid....) I'm 23. And it's only a matter of time until I'm the last one standing, single and proud, but without anyone to hang out with. Unlike being 86, I'm supposed to be happy, and allow me to clarify..... I am happy but shockingly enough, I am capable of feeling more than one emotion at one time. I'm frustrated by the knowledge that expressing my other (secondary) emotions would be incredibly selfish of me.
So I woke up with tears in my eyes, because I've been here before, and I know that this time it will be harder, because I'm happier and sadder, and I have to say goodbye to someone I never could say goodbye to. Now I'm alone in the house. I wish I wasn't, but my roomie's in florida. So I'm venting my conflicting emotions, hoping that by venting, I'll be able to focus on the appropriate emotion, which is overwhelming happiness for my friend's happiness.
Abu's life will revolve around me until the day she dies. How's that for an ego trip? The catch is that in the end, I will have to kill her. Life is never easy I suppose, not for anyone. But there's lots of happiness along the way.
I'm liking Sum 41's "We're all to blame." I love watching punk bands move from crazy stupid to socially conscious. On that note, I'm loving Green Day's new album.
That's it. I'll write more later on the subject of the new year. The usual new year's drivel, I predict.
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