I remember the week before I left for Africa. I was run down and tired, so close to a holiday that would really be a lot of work, getting ready to escape from my grueling schedule only to return jet lagged, mefloquin saturated, and heartbroken to the exact same grueling schedule.

I felt trapped. I sat in my car between jobs feeling like I might as well be on a chain gang. I was afraid that I would work myself into an early grave, and spend every one of my last dying days driving from job to job in a city which I theoretically love but haven't the time to explore on account of how I'm working myself into an early grave.

Today I don't feel trapped. Today I believe that God wants better for me, and He always did. I asked myself why things should be any different in Regina, why I won't wind up working two jobs to get by, getting tired and grouchy and feeling trapped, and I don't really have an answer to that.... except that I don't think that's what God wants, and I don't even have any basis for that belief... aside from the conviction I feel and the peace that's came over me the moment I gave my notice at work.

My parents don't think that what I'm doing is wise, but my stepdad did say that if I felt peace after giving my notice, that said something. I said that this was the first time I ever felt peace about leaving somewhere to go somewhere else. I didn't say that this may be the most complete peace I've ever experienced. I'm not even worrying about money!!

As surely as the leaves are changing color outside, I can see the the season in my life turning. I'm excited. I wonder what God has planned?

In just a few days I'll find out.

Now to check on dinner.