Stop asking questions you know the answers to.

Thinking back on that time in my life when people said of me "Now there's a God-filled young person" I remember how sometimes it felt like something I conjured up, knowing very well that I was, in fact, touched by God, but not sure of how to express it. I was painfully aware of what was expected of me, what was accepted in those circles, and sometimes I wonder if I haven't been pulling a chameleon act my whole life. So what now? Now that I have a clearer picture of who I am, now that I no longer wish to live a camouflage life, how do I worship? How do I pray? Stripped of the molds I so easily poured myself into, I lack a template by which to conduct myself. I think that sometimes I'm praying but I don't know it, and I think that sometimes when I'm trying to pray it's nothing but empty scattered words. So how does Little Bear pray? How does she worship? No one can demonstrate those things for me, since I am so talented at emulating the methods of others. I won't do it any longer, which is perhaps why I find myself doing nothing.

Written during house group.