It's hard to describe the way I feel tonight.
Really..... aware.
I spend a lot of time thinking about the things about myself that I need to improve but tonight I was able to step back and see that though self improvement (for me) will always be an ongoing process, there are things about me that are good. Things that are inherent to my nature, and have been as long as I can remember.
It seems like so much about our culture is dedicated to convincing us that we have no goodness, that we always need something more in order to be good or to have enough or to be functional.....
But we are not assembly line products. God shapes and molds and crafts us into these exquisite creatures, equipped with all we need to minister to Him and one another, and from the moment we are born, our tools and accessories are stolen from us, and our reflexes are hindered, and we are battered and bruised and broken before we even get going.
And so it's always a battle, it's all we've known, trying to find those things that God gifted us with at our conception, always trying to reclaim that which has been stolen and relearn the skills that we were born with, until we can finally, after years of searching and experimenting, serve the purpose we were given.
It has been Satan's goal from the beginning, to steal, kill and destroy. Tonight I'm very aware of this, and it makes me angry and frustrated.
Part of my "no worry until the new year" goal is not getting angry or frustrated about things over which I have no control, so even as I'm beginning to get riled up I'm trying to shift my focus.
Today someone told me something good about me, a skill that I have, and I knew in my heart that it was true, and it was a tool that I had finally found after scrounging about in the mayhem for what had seemed like an endless eternity.
Could we all just stop and think about those things that God made good about us? I think that by doing so we would score a great victory.
Really..... aware.
I spend a lot of time thinking about the things about myself that I need to improve but tonight I was able to step back and see that though self improvement (for me) will always be an ongoing process, there are things about me that are good. Things that are inherent to my nature, and have been as long as I can remember.
It seems like so much about our culture is dedicated to convincing us that we have no goodness, that we always need something more in order to be good or to have enough or to be functional.....
But we are not assembly line products. God shapes and molds and crafts us into these exquisite creatures, equipped with all we need to minister to Him and one another, and from the moment we are born, our tools and accessories are stolen from us, and our reflexes are hindered, and we are battered and bruised and broken before we even get going.
And so it's always a battle, it's all we've known, trying to find those things that God gifted us with at our conception, always trying to reclaim that which has been stolen and relearn the skills that we were born with, until we can finally, after years of searching and experimenting, serve the purpose we were given.
It has been Satan's goal from the beginning, to steal, kill and destroy. Tonight I'm very aware of this, and it makes me angry and frustrated.
Part of my "no worry until the new year" goal is not getting angry or frustrated about things over which I have no control, so even as I'm beginning to get riled up I'm trying to shift my focus.
Today someone told me something good about me, a skill that I have, and I knew in my heart that it was true, and it was a tool that I had finally found after scrounging about in the mayhem for what had seemed like an endless eternity.
Could we all just stop and think about those things that God made good about us? I think that by doing so we would score a great victory.
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